Just Listen To Me! Podcast
Welcome to the place where love stops performing and starts telling the truth.
This is a podcast about what’s really happening inside your relationship — beneath the arguments,the shutdowns, the “we’re fine” smiles, and the quiet ache of disconnection.
I’m Julia Shay, a couples counsellor working through an emotionally focused therapy lens, and each episode explores the patterns that shape how we love. We talk about attachment styles, pursuer–withdrawer dynamics, communication breakdowns, emotional triggers, and the negative cycles that keep couples stuck — not from a place of blame, but from a place of understanding.
This isn’t about quick fixes or relationship clichés.
It’s about slowing down enough to see what’s underneath.
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking:
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Why do we keep having the same fight?
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Why do I feel so alone even when we’re together?
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Why does asking for reassurance feel so hard?
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Why does my partner pull away when I need them most?
You’re in the right place.
Whether you’re trying to repair your relationship, reconnect after distance, or break generational patterns around love and attachment, this space is for people who care deeply and want something more conscious, secure, and emotionally alive.
This is where we build Project Secure Attachment — one honest conversation at a time.
You’re welcome here. Let’s build relationships that feel safe, real, and alive.
Latest Episode: Breaking the Negative Cycle That Took Over Your Relationship
This episode is about one thing: secure attachment isn’t luck — it’s built. In this deeply personal and clinically grounded episode of *Just Listen to Me*, I unpack what Project Secure Attachment really means — not as a buzzword, not as a cute relationship goal — but as a lived, earned transformation.
We walk through:
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Why the honeymoon phase isn’t proof of compatibility
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How negative cycles quietly take over good relationships
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The pursuer–withdrawer dance and what it’s really protecting
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Why conflict isn’t the problem — disconnection is
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And how couples therapy actually helps partners move from survival to safety
This isn’t about blaming the anxious partner. It isn’t about shaming the avoidant one. And it’s definitely not about pretending love should be effortless. It’s about understanding the attachment wounds underneath the protest. It’s about recognising the cycle as the enemy — not each other. And it’s about building emotional safety intentionally.
If you’ve ever thought:
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“Why do we keep having the same fight?”
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“Why do I feel too much?”
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“Why do I shut down when things get intense?”
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“Are we broken… or just stuck?”
This episode will land. Because secure attachment isn’t something you find in the right person. It’s something two imperfect people learn how to co-create. Whether you’re in a relationship, healing from one, or simply trying to understand your own attachment style more deeply — this conversation will help you see the pattern, soften the shame, and begin building something more secure.
Welcome to Project Secure Attachment.
Also available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify